A few weekends back, my sister was retelling a version of a story that I’ve heard many times; she had overheard a woman standing in a Target strictly forbidding her daughter from looking at, or even dare considering the purchase of, a Barbie doll.
I, being prone to sudden rage upon hearing any example of pure stupidity, shook my head. How stupid! As if this simple public act and declaration would bring forth from this girl child a perfect vision of feminism. A woman so strong she can attribute her becoming the first female U.S. President to her mother’s resistance to toy purchases. At a Target, no less! A huge box store, otherwise known as an evil corporation because ALL corporations are evil and cause harm to many someones as well as the environment, regardless of how cute that toxic, sparkly shit from China is!
Have you ever, ever, heard a man say, “Superman and Spidey totally emasculated me as a child. My self-esteem was shot to bits because I could never be a superhero. Every time I look at my naked body in the shower, all I think is, ‘I’m a failure, limp, mortal… nothing.’ And it was action figures and comics that fucked it all up for me… FOREVER.”
No, you don’t. Because men just don’t think that way. But some of the ladies on the other hand…
Feminists, like children and atheists, are often full of shit and manipulative. About a year ago, Ashley Judd, a well-spoken feminista (who, not surprisingly, is entering politics) was being hounded for suddenly having a “puffy face.” She responded proudly and went on to blast the media and society for being hypersexual and misogynistic. I loved reading her strong words, her denouncing the importance of looks. I wished that I had been able to personally ask her if she felt so much when she was on People Magazine’s list of The Most Beautiful People in the World in 1996, 2000, and 2002? Or, is society only hypersexual and misogynistic now that her face went bad? That woman is a liar, but she was stupidly applauded for speaking out so “bravely.”
I know for a fact that the woman behind the hatred of Barbie’s supposed misogynistic message is an incomplete, very self-absorbed female, one who is actually OBSESSED with appearances, like the puffy Ms. Judd; so twisted in her self-deceit, her narcissism, her failure to be somebody (or just get a great job with all those diplomas), that she blames a doll (a doll!) for this. You’d never see a happy, self-satisfied, sexually proud, and fulfilled woman embarrass herself by blaming a doll, or the supposed mystical message Barbie whispered in her ear 20 years ago, for anything. Ever.
And that is the funny part about it: by forbidding the play of Barbies to a daughter, thinking the child will become more self-assured—all the while shopping at Target and receiving a million other screwy messages—the mother in turn forces her daughter to begin to obsess on her own narcissism, her own appearance.
Much like people who blame dolls for their poor self-esteem, atheists, who spend a great amount of time OBSESSING over God and Baby J and how religion has ruined the world, are liars too. By proclaiming they don’t believe in any God, they are revealing just how terrified they are of the unknown, much like any Jesus freak. Atheists and Jesus freaks alike, have to label it—to control it—to control their self-absorbed fear of the unknown.
The saddest thing about atheists is that they never look outside of their own micro-culture to see, or admit, that the only people who show up in a crisis, like Sandy or Katrina or Haiti, are church groups, small groups of kind people who want to help perfect strangers. Are there any atheist groups that appear in a crisis? No.
I never think about God or Barbie, and if either is bad or good. There are so many other, very important things to think about and worry over. I certainly don’t ridiculously tell my children if there is a God or not (how would I ever know that answer?) or tell them if they play with Barbie dolls that they will blossom to have skewed body images. But, I do warn them to be wary of people who play victim, who blame beliefs, ideas and images for things that are in their control.
© Mad Question Asking – 2013 All Rights Reserved
I had to laugh when reading this story. My Grandmother wouldn’t allow her children to have Barbie dolls for the reasons listed in your article. Then again, they weren’t allowed to have pierced ears until highschool. People grow, for better or worse, as they get older. Whether they are actresses or astronauts. I know plenty of athiests, some of whom helped with the insanity that went on in Atlantic City. I believe in applauding the good I see people doing. I’ll argue political points that people don’t like. I do my best not to put people down who are trying to do what’s right.(what they believe is right) Women can grow and change for the better. It would be a sad state of affairs to be judged for past mistakes without the present good works to count.
AMEN!!!!
OK., I’ll bite.
Are you seriously saying that you don’t think playing with Barbie’s affects self-image? This isn’t a guessing game, there are many studies that prove it. As for the woman at Target and her motivations, who can say? We can’t ask her and can only speculate. The fact that you are enraged by your own fabrications of her motives is much more… interesting/scary. What exactly is your beef with feminists? Is it getting the vote? Or fighting for equal pay? Making it legal for women to inherit property? Educational rights? Because it doesn’t sound like you’re mad at feminists, it sounds like your mad at hypocrites. So you might want to think about getting your own arguments straight before you lash out at someone else’s poorly constructed logic, ie: shopping at Target vs feminism vs big box politics.
Second. Men may not express that they feel inferior to the masculine ideal, but that doesn’t mean they don’t.
And lastly, you have absolutely no evidence what-so-ever to support your claim that atheists are not altruistic or giving in times of crisis. That is complete and utter nonsense. The fact that most atheists don’t organize themselves like a religious group (no duh!) does not mean that they are not showing up individually or as part of some other kind of humanitarian aid group. And so what if Atheists are afraid of the unknown? So is absolutely EVERYONE. Does making up a heavenly realm to spend eternity with all your dead relatives make you a braver person?? Also, not all atheists spend their time talking about God and Baby J. Buddhists are by and large atheists, and I can tell you from personal experience they don’t worry about the J-man very much.
Once again, most of your anger seems to be directed at hypocrites and liars. My experience has shown me that hypocrites and liars abound in all groups and are not confined to feminists and atheists. It doesn’t make sense, either logically or emotionally, to vilify those groups because of a few people you encounter. Especially when the foundational argument of feminism is ‘women are people and deserve equal treatment’, and the foundational argument of Atheism is ‘there is no compelling proof of an omnipotent god’. Surely there are more offensive axioms to rail against???
I’ve been thinking about your comments Liz. Yes, I really don’t think playing with Barbies affects self-image. I think mothers affect self-image (that was sort of the point). All the females I’ve known who were forbidden Barbies are the most self-absorbed and suffer the poorest self-esteem of all the women I’ve known. That’s my experience. And also it’s been my experience that only the religious are active with hands-on charity. Voting blue doesn’t count, that’s just lazy pat yourself on the back and hope Obama makes you look good arm chair activism.
This can go back and forth for a good long round, and we will certainly talk at coffee, but we are at odds here, you being a feminist atheist and me being neither.
Coffee, Liz? This Sunday? We can go at it. (Thanks for biting.)
Non-religious aid organizations:
The Peace Corp
Pocketful of Joy
Action Against Hunger
Doctors without Borders
Make a Wish Foundation
Big Brother/Sister
28 too many (a fgm charity)
Vitamin Angels
The Kensington Womens Education Program
to name a few
As for the Barbie thing… psychological studies show differently
Here is just one study.
Does Barbie Make Girls Want to Be Thin? The Effect of Experimental Exposure to Images of Dolls on the Body Image of 5- to 8-Year-Old Girls
Helga Dittmar, University of Sussex
Emma Halliwell, University of the West of England
Suzanne Ive, University of Sussex
The ubiquitous Barbie doll was examined in the present study as a possible cause for young girls’ body dissatisfaction. A total of 162 girls, from age 5 to age 8, were exposed to images of either Barbie dolls, Emme dolls (U.S. size 16), or no dolls (baseline control) and then completed assessments of body image. Girls exposed to Barbie reported lower body esteem and greater desire for a thinner body shape than girls in the other exposure conditions. However, this immediate negative impact of Barbie doll was no longer
evident in the oldest girls. These findings imply that, even if dolls cease to function as aspirational role models for older girls, early exposure to dolls epitomizing an unrealistically thin body ideal may damage girls’ body image, which would contribute to an increased risk of disordered eating and weight cycling.
I am a feminist and an atheist. I also happened to be raised without Barbie’s. So by your own argument I should be one of the most fearful, hypocritical, self-hating and narcissitic women you know.
And this is where it gets touchy. And too personal for a public blog. I’m not going to write down estimations about you, specifically, on the comment portion of MQA, regardless of you challenging me just there.
I recently spent a good deal of time with victims of Sandy. I asked each time who helped them? Who showed up? Small church groups. When I go to Tent City and ask who helps them, the answer is the same. Small church groups. Like I said, that is my experience. I know plenty of doctors, lawyers, hippies, moms, social workers, rich people, poor people and again, from my experience (which is where I am writing from and also, FYI, I could care less about studies) the few people I know who are actively and regularly charitable, are religious.
Another side to this is looking at how boys’ feel about women’s bodies after being exposed to Barbie and airbrushed images of women. I will never forget going to see Fast Times at Ridegemont High in the movie theater when I was 13. There was a scene where Jennifer Jason Leigh had no clothes on or next to none. A boy in the theater said “She’s fat!” I thought wow if boys consider her fat then I must look like a whale – all 113 lbs of me at the time. Great blog Ingrid! I enjoyed reading it and the comments! Although I may not always agree with your viewpoint, I applaud you for putting it out there.
“ALL” corporations are evil? Wake up, dippy hippy.